One of the most challenging aspects of working in a team setting is the many different personalities at play. Sometimes this is a great thing, and other times it can create tension amongst each other. It’s easy to work with people who think like you, but how do you work with those who approach their work in a way that doesn’t make sense to you? Here are three tips from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” to help you overcome this challenge:

Ask questions instead of giving orders.

It’s important to involve others in the conversation and not just talk at them. Ask questions to help your team members feel needed and included. Even when a decision has already been made, asking questions that lead to the resolution will make others feel like they were part of the decision-making. You might also end up getting some perspective you hadn’t previously considered. You can always learn from others, even when asking questions from a team member who may not have the same experience as you.

People are more likely to accept an order if they had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.

As mentioned above, when people feel included, they’re more likely to be agreeable when being given an order. As humans, we strive for a feeling of community. We want to be a part of something, and when it comes to the workplace, we want to feel seen and heard. Think about a time you were given an order without being part of the conversation. Even if you agreed with the decision made, you might have felt frustration around it simply due to not being included. 

You can’t win an argument. If you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.

If you get to a place where you don’t see eye to eye with a team member, remember that you can’t win an argument. There will be a price to pay regardless of the outcome. Whether it is at the cost of the relationship or having to go along with something you might not agree with—there is just no winning an argument. Avoid getting to that place as best as possible by making sure others feel seen and heard. Remember that it is important to have a growth mindset and be open-minded to different possibilities and ideas.

“Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” –Dale Carnegie