When I was a young man, the owner of a clothing store in Windsor told me he gave every new employee the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. Some would read it and some wouldn’t. Some would half-heartedly apply it, some wouldn’t.   As a result, he could tell who were success-oriented, who would generate the most commissions, repeat business, who would complain the most, who would work the hardest, who would succeed or not.  He said, ”It’s all upstairs”, meaning attitude and the context people operate from.

You are about success or unknowingly, just getting by. Those success-oriented people build a success philosophy, read about success, take behaviour-building courses, listen to successful people, hang around successful people, and actually listen and learn, on purpose. Their education gets them a job but their success-orientation builds a successful career, family and wealth. They realize they have a responsibility for creating their own life. They create their own life path by how they produce.

Now this is different from the taker who expects things to be given to them, believes that circumstances rule and as a result uses up their time in ‘busy busy’ activities instead of profitable, focused-action, getting better and closer to their goals. Their energy is about getting by, sometimes just survival, and they never seem to get off the never ending treadmill.

Why are some people able to click in and others don’t seem interested?  Who knows?  You would think culture, our upbringing would have something to do with it. It is a mystery sometimes.

As a very young guy in a factory town, I clicked in when a young engineer I worked with had just completed a course that he said was more valuable to him than his degree. I asked about it and with my own limited resources enrolled in the Dale Carnegie Course . It woke me up to possibilities and gave me confidence and practical business skills that opened up a great future for me.  I just focused on everything the course had to offer.  I began to study success intently, became a Carnegie coach which was the most demanding, fearful, yet stretching experience ever….I mean ever! As a result of all that coaching and business experience, I eventually owned the business.

As Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “My mind never gained its original dimensions”. My story is not that unusual. Many people click in and literally expand who they are and become a person who attracts success.

I too advise many people today on what to read or study and sometimes help them build a plan and advise the coaching they need. Some do what it takes and others can’t find their start button. Over the years, I coached many management teams to excel in their markets. Yes, some just do whatever it takes, others are more interested in getting to the bar to watch sports.

As leaders, it would be easy to give up on people, but we can’t. Can we give up on our kids, grandkids or employees? No – we are leaders, we care, so we just have to be better at reaching people. We need what they need – commitment. We need to build it daily. So, keep trying different things to get them improving. That’s what you would want from a mentor.

Should people give up on you? Are you waiting for things to change before you do? Are you putting off some coaching or programs that would expand your comfort zone? What are your learning goals? It’s a great time of year to assess what you need to do to grow. After all, you have clicked in.

Have a great new year!

Kevin D. Crone

Chairman
Dale Carnegie Business Group
kdcrone@dalecarnegie.ca
(905) 826-7300

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