Change IS for the better!
One subject keeps coming at me lately from friends and some experts in the success field… Why don’t so many, maybe even most people, do what they need to do to be successful in business, health, finances, or whatever?”
Everyone is a little different, so it’s tough to generalize, but let me take a stab at it.
Admitting you have a need or problem seems to be difficult. Last week, I saw as part of a medical lecture, what smoking does to your arteries, how it can kick-start or aid diabetes, how it causes cancer, etc. There are millions of people successfully quitting using a nicotine patch technique. Now I haven’t smoked since I was 18, but I was thinking of those I know that do, and wishing they were watching this presentation. I fear for them. Why don’t they get the message?
The lecture went on to describe how being overweight can do the same to you, yet, you and I know people who are overweight, that eat too much sugar, fried foods and salt and spend more than 50% of their time in a sedentary position in front of a computer, tablet, phone, or television, instead of exercising. Those people have a 50% greater chance of a heart attack. Every 44 seconds a man dies from heart disease and every 88 seconds a women dies.
Everyone knows these things, but apparently don’t see how all this data is talking to them.
Recently, I had a young man tell me he was too busy to learn about money management when he was basically bankrupt. I had another person tell me they don’t have goals because, “No one she knows has them, her friends live for today. That’s cool and the way it is today.” Yet, she fights through every day on a treadmill full of problems in all aspects of her life.
You and I probably know people who drink too much and may even be alcoholics. It’s sad what happens to their life but they can’t say, “I am in trouble. I want to change.”
We all have things we need to change. For example, arrogance, or over-the-top ego, or lack of confidence, or the need to control or to be perfect. Some people just communicate badly or can’t lead others and gain enthusiastic cooperation. They say that’s the way I am; take me or leave me. The marketplace, customers, employers, associates, family and friends eventually leave them. They don’t usually say why and the person probably would not accept their criticism if they did.
In my work, I ran into this every day. Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die. The sad thing is that everyone can get better, so why don’t they?!!!
Every management team can make their business more attractive to the marketplace or make their operation and team better. As one of my old mentors, Jim Rohn, whom I studied and knew, said, “Don’t wish it was easier – wish you were better.” Yes… better. It begins by seeing clearly what you want and reality. The truth. My brilliant ally in thought, on my team for over 45 years Dave Mather, said to me over dinner the other night that it’s sad that so few people can see the truth about themselves or are eager to do something to get better now!
So few? Just a few! A small percentage! That’s hard to believe. Are we all blind to our needs? It looks that way. At what do you need to get better? Are your employees clear on what they need? How about your management team? Your kids? Grand kids? Friends?
Now, if you see the need or the want and/or problem, then why don’t you have a plan of action you stick to? In my coaching experience it’s easy to get information. How much of that medical presentation do you think is still with me? How much can I remember? How much do I totally understand let alone know how to begin to use? Not much!
Usually after seminars/talks/lectures, even some YouTube demonstrations, it’s usually harder than it looks. So many things we don’t realize in advance we have to do and when we get started can fail at them, and, heaven forbid, look bad along the way. And of course, it all takes work. Oh, my goodness – work. Things should be easier, not harder we say from our little unrealistic mind-planet called Mars. Too often we fail to get into permanent habits. We go forward, succeed a little, and then go back. We begin to believe we can’t change or it’s just too hard. And back into our comfort zones we go.
This week, I received emails from two CEO’s, one vice-chairman, and a successful professor who all tell me they read ALL the Monday Morning Mentors. Now wait a minute, shouldn’t the professor (Cathy) be an arrogant know-it-all? Shouldn’t the CEO and vice-chairmen be at a stage where they don’t need to get better? Tim said, “The last few have really inspired me. Thank you.” Now I know this successful and wealthy guy. He’s a real leader. He’s never satisfied where he is because he ALWAYS has dreams, goals, strategic plans, that cause him to always be growing and going somewhere further.
How about all the others who need the Mentors but can’t be bothered to read them?
MY BEST ANSWER TO GETTING BETTER IS TO TAKE COACHING AND BEHAVIOUR-CHANGING TRAINING.
Although good, it’s not enough to hear or read about the knowledge you need… It usually doesn’t stick. And “Mr. Google” can confuse you with so much generic advice.
Have a pro who knows how to help you create an authentic plan based on your reality and wants and helps you begin, practice and finish. Something to consider. Now if you could do it on your own why are you putting it off? So, get with a group who receive instant feedback, especially some positive feedback, when they practice or implement, under a coach’s guidance, and get some one-on-ones with the coach so you’ll continue to do what you have to do to form the habits. Especially make sure it’s about coaching after you do it and it’s not just lectures or motivational pep talks.
Now I have watched these behaviour-improving techniques work in all of the Dale Carnegie Systems for over 50 years. The coaching system does work. Now is the time to be serious about doing the things that will make you better.
I’m rewriting my life plan this New Year, and am taking some coaching. How about you? Remember, successful people do the things that unsuccessful people never get around to doing. You are better than that.
Have a great week and year!
Kevin D. Crone
Dale Carnegie Business Group
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